So, did you get a speeding ticket? Or any kind of ticket, for that matter? I just got a fucking ticket... as a matter of fact, while I was talking to you on my cellphone.
And for what? Not speeding. Like, I was too busy talking to you and Hannah about the rock band at Nieman Marcus to pay attention to the speed limit. And not for not wearing my seat belt, which I was not wearing.
And not, apparently, for talking on a cell phone while driving, which may or not be illegal to do in Georgia.
I got it for no current registration tag!!! Well, it was sitting in the glove compartment, where I put it this morning. Like, I have time put it on, or what???
So I told this lady officer that it was too hard to get the liscense plate cover off, and I usually got my husband to do it, but he wasn't around. So she said "You could use a screwdriver" and I said "Yes, but it's REALLY hard!" Then she went off to her squad car to write me a ticket, saying "You've had since May to do it." And I"m like, what? ?? I looked at the tag this morning, and it said 2006. So I thought, ok, I'm cool 'till 2007. Like, do I have time to read the fine print that says May, 2006? No!! And besides, I have TOO MANY CARS to keep track of all these petty details!
So at first I sat there thinking..."Yeah, how could I fail to do this since May," and then I like remember that this car HAS BEEN IN STORAGE for a year, and I only got it out yesterday to take it to have the dents taken out of it. Something apparently FELL ON IT while it was in its $80 a month berth in my friend Ginger's garage.
So, I risked getting out of my car and went over to her car ( thinking maybe she'd threaten to shoot me ) to explain that the reason I hadn't put the damn thing on was I hadn't driven the car in a year, PLUS I thought 2006 meant 2006, not MAY of 2006, and she said "Oh, so you just thought that story up?? I thought it was that you couldn't get the liscense plate cover off. " And I said, "Ma'am I don't lie. It's the truth and I can get you all the storage bills to prove it." But no, she wrote me the f****** ticket anyway. If she had been a man, she would've, as you said, let me off. But NO!
Well, you know what? I don't think women should be police officers, at all.
So There!
Lucky for her I didn't have my 9mm on me. And lucky for her that I'm not Hannibal Lecter. If I was Hannibal Lecter I would've stabbed her with a screwdriver, and eaten her liver. She was lucky to get away in one piece.
Brooklyn, Bronx and Beyond.
3 comments:
I love this pic. The details are great. The nose and lips on the left and the sunset/sunrise? in the mirror. Wow. Hope all's well. Happy Holidays.
So, did you get a speeding ticket? Or any kind of ticket, for that matter?
I just got a fucking ticket... as a matter of fact, while I was talking to you on my cellphone.
And for what? Not speeding. Like, I was too busy talking to you and Hannah about the rock band at Nieman Marcus to pay attention to the speed limit.
And not for not wearing my seat belt, which I was not wearing.
And not, apparently, for talking on a cell phone while driving, which may or not be illegal to do in Georgia.
I got it for no current registration tag!!! Well, it was sitting in the glove compartment, where I put it this morning. Like, I have time put it on, or what???
So I told this lady officer that it was too hard to get the liscense plate cover off, and I usually got my husband to do it, but he wasn't around. So she said "You could use a screwdriver" and I said "Yes, but it's REALLY hard!" Then she went off to her squad car to write me a ticket, saying "You've had since May to do it." And I"m like, what? ?? I looked at the tag this morning, and it said 2006. So I thought, ok, I'm cool 'till 2007. Like, do I have time to read the fine print that says May, 2006? No!! And besides, I have TOO MANY CARS to keep track of all these petty details!
So at first I sat there thinking..."Yeah, how could I fail to do this since May," and then I like remember that this car HAS BEEN IN STORAGE for a year, and I only got it out yesterday to take it to have the dents taken out of it. Something apparently FELL ON IT while it was in its $80 a month berth in my friend Ginger's garage.
So, I risked getting out of my car and went over to her car ( thinking maybe she'd threaten to shoot me ) to explain that the reason I hadn't put the damn thing on was I hadn't driven the car in a year, PLUS I thought 2006 meant 2006, not MAY of 2006, and she said "Oh, so you just thought that story up?? I thought it was that you couldn't get the liscense plate cover off. " And I said, "Ma'am I don't lie. It's the truth and I can get you all the storage bills to prove it." But no, she wrote me the f****** ticket anyway.
If she had been a man, she would've, as you said, let me off. But NO!
Well, you know what? I don't think women should be police officers, at all.
So There!
Lucky for her I didn't have my 9mm on me. And lucky for her that I'm not Hannibal Lecter. If I was Hannibal Lecter I would've stabbed her with a screwdriver, and eaten her liver. She was lucky to get away in one piece.
You should have e mailed me this and then I could have posted it instead of my nonblog.
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