"Nick, baby, my man." I'm standing in the Seacaucus, N.J., Home Depot looking at 16-foot baseboard mouldings. Dolores's contractor, Nick, needs them for her apartment. Today. And she's en route from DC. I'm buying. And, it appears, cutting: The lumber department's saw is broken. "Nicky, sweetheart, will eight-footers fit into the elevator? They will? Okay, I'll be over noonish." I need almost two hundred board feet of moulding (by my calculations, hope they're right). That means I have to saw 12 pieces in half with a hand saw. Sweat is beading my back when I've finished. Then I locate the end cap for the counter top, the tile for the backsplash, the grout, the grout sealer (who knew?). The "helpers" are least in sight when I load up the truck. I pull up at Dolores's in the Bronx with barely enough time to offload and zip back to the UWS to park. It ain't easy parking a green full-sized pickup on the street.
"Nicky, baby, check you later."
It's so hard doing tasteful renovations in Seacaucus and the Bronx. And I'm not even sure tasteful blends in with the environment: See lobby of Dolores's new building, above. How appropriate, a lady with grapes. Who is she? Demeter?
By the way, please note contrast: Bronx/Fairfield County. Are you jealous of the range of my friends or what?
2 comments:
The following just in from Sis, another nutcase let's do some construction member of my family.
Construction update
Oh shits: done
Obnoxious electricians now on site, blaring oldies radio: 2
Friendly plumber due tomorrow or Friday.
Dust and mess currently on site, will work on it this PM.
Work update:
Outstanding projects in various forms of edit: 2
Outstanding projects awaiting inspiration: 1
Friends update:
Friends in various stages of healing from dire illness: 2
Friends dying of dire illness: 1
Friends recovering from viral illness: 1
Friends hale and hearty... hmmm. (????)
Home update:
Knees skinned, boo boos: (several)
Dire illness: 0
Dogs that are over-exercised: 1
Parents with no peace and quiet: 2
What I want to know is why are you installing baseboard in where-ever-it-is ? Is there money involved? Is there sex involved? It can't be all about friendship. If it is, then I want you to come do some carpentry at House of Hat. Or I'll be jealous. I bet you'd like to do some carpentry here at my estate, but: Oh, thenk you! The government of the United States does that.
OOOOH! Am I making you jealous? Good. Because I'M jealous.Of Dolores.
Post a Comment