11.25.2008

guess who's coming to dinner


It's that time of year again, when in an inclusive spirit of Thanksgiving we attempt diversity—in nationality, religion or lack thereof, age and whatever else we can think of—and fall well short of the mark. This year, as a matter of fact, is piss poor.

Smokers 5
Ex-smokers 2
Dillitant smokers 1
People who have never smoked (yet, so far as I know) 15
HINT: If you add the foregoing, you can get the total.
People who have never eaten turkey 1
People I have never met 2
People who live on the Upper White Side 9 known
People from the Bronx 2
People from Queens 1
People from the West Coast 2
People from Massachusetts 5
LBGT 2 (known)
Chinese 1 and two halfs
Taiwanese 1 (or else)
Latinas 1
Fans of Hannah Montana 1
People named after rock stars 2
Scientists 1
Engineers 1
Shrinks 1
People with full-time jobs 8
Grandmothers 3
Twins 2 (not sets, individuals)
Newlyweds 2 (one couple)
People buying houses 3
People building houses 4
People living in apartments 23—all, I think

What categories can you think of?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think the most important division is light meat vs dark meat.

Anonymous said...

...and I am referring to turkey, should anyone's mind be wandering gutturally...

Wolfen said...

People staying in Claudia's Apt
Number of people under the age of 13
People over the age of 30 (ha ha)