12.16.2019

your christmas letter here


I love getting Christmas letters. But so far I have only gotten, like, two this year (part of this could be that I have not sent a card in years and never a letter). I have  made a template for those of you who still wish to send one out. It’s not too late!

Dear Friends and Family,
    (SEASON’S GREETINGS/MERRY CHRISTMAS)! It has been quite a year! We took some great trips to (PLACE) and (PLACE) back in (MONTH) before (NAME) was diagnosed with (DISEASE). Ever since it has been doctors and tests and (TYPE SURGERY). I have had my problems as well with my (KNEE/BACK/OTHER BODY PART). The (TYPE THERAPY) seems to be working, when I have time to do it what with driving (NAME) to (HIS/HER) appointments every week.
    The kids are good. (SON/DAUGHTER) had their (FIRST/SECOND/OTHER NUMBER) child. (HE/SHE) weighed (POUNDS/OUNCES) and is called (NAME), after (WHAT RELATION). (SON/DAUGHTER/OTHER) and (HIS/HER/THEIR) (SPOUSE/PARTNER) have (MARRIED/SEPARATED/DIVORCED).
    We lost (RELATION) this year at the ripe old age of (AGE). 
    Our new (DOG/CAT/HEDGEHOG) is doing great!
    We are thinking of you, and hope to see you in the New Year after our trip to (PLACE TK). Have a great (HOLIDAY) and love to you and yours!
                                                   THE (SURNAME)S

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4 comments:

Kate Knapp Artist Blog said...

great idea....I remember the conception....very effective and useful. thank you!

Ivy said...

Dear Friends and Family,
Happy Hanukah! It has been quite a year! We took some great trips to downtown Brooklyn and also the Hamptons back in November-December before Stepdad Pete was diagnosed with fatal old age. Ever since it has been hospice nurses and diaper changes (Thank you, Marla!) and more morphine than you can imagine delivered free to our door! What a blessing! I have had my problems as well with my collapsing spinal column. The ignoring of it seems to be working some of the time, when I have time to do it (wha?).
The kids are good. Aurora and Antony had their second child a few years back, and she is called Gloria, after Guess Who! Who died this year! I never see or hear from them! Abra is still struggling with depression and addiction issues. Please pray for her when you have the time! And son Wil has a lovely girlfriend and they both work hard in the film/TV industry.
We lost Stepdad Pete this year at the ripe old age of ninety-fuckin'-three! His lasting that long amazed us all as he never did a single thing designed to maintain health. Let that be a lesson, young people!
Our new dog-cat-hedgehog is doing great! Way to go, Elmer!
We are thinking of you, and hope to see you in the New Year after our trip to fabulous Rego Park. Have a great New Year and year, and love to you and yours!

THE HAMLIN

Claudia said...

That's a doozie, Ivy! You got just the right tone—mixing horrible news with a chipper affect. Oh yeah, and prayer. I forgot that part.
A couple more exemplary Christmas letters came in shortly after the 25th. One of my favorites ran to three pages about people that I had no idea who they were even though I'm related to them.

Ivy said...

Thanks! I'm quite proud of it!