4.13.2006

pillar and post


"There's Christmas and Thanksgiving," said the actress, as she watched the first wall of her post-and-beam house go up on the island. She tucked her two-year-old closer.
"There's my life savings," thought her husband, the New York City fireman. "Up in smoke."
"Birthday parties," thought the actress. "Baths by the fireplace."
And then she realized she was sounding too sentimental. "There's the window I'll throw you out of," she told her husband. "There's the beam I'll hang myself from."
I was watching because The Contractor, The Architect and the Post and Beam People who are doing their house are the same ones doing mine within, hopefully, a couple months.
I didn't go all mushy about their house, but it was very exciting.


On another note, tonight is the night of nights—in more ways than one. Don't miss the event described below by my friend Tommy V if you're in the area:


The Romance Commandos are leaping to the stage at the Goldhawk once again.
This time it's Thursday, April 13th, and yes I've been notified by the Chosen People that it just happens to be the first night of Passover.
I swear, I had no idea. I heard about the impending smoking ban in New Jersey - they've finally gone too far - and asked Franny the owner for the last Thursday before it goes into effect.
How would I know the stupid New Jersey legislators would outlaw smoking during Passover?
This is a clear case of institutionalized anti-semitism.
I'm calling the ACLU in the morning, but before I do, I'd like to invite you to a lovely evening of musical entertainment provided by those talented, open-armed, Jew-loving Romance Commandos.

The players in the Romance Commandos, as you know, are all real mentshes, full of chutzpah and just a little meshungina.
They make me kvell.
And it wouldn't hurt for you to do a little mitsva once in a while, like maybe schlepping out to see some nice goyim play music instead of sitting on your tuchis all night like some shlemiel.
Just have a little nosh beforehand, no one needs to hear your kvetching all night about the trafe at the Goldhawk.
And remember to bring some gelt with you so you shouldn't look like some kind of schnorer.

Mazel Tov.
tom

Thursday, April 13th
8pm - 11pm

In the back room at the Goldhawk Lounge:
936 Park Avenue (at 10th Street)
Hoboken, NJ 07030
201 420-7989
for directions

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

And I've gotta go to seder tonight with the seemed-so-cool-at-the-time souvenir of my Morocco trip, an arab henna tatoo all over my hand. oy vey's mir!

Anonymous said...

oops, didn't mean to make that comment about the hennaed hand anonymous. I'll own up to my youthful indiscretions.

Claudia said...

J: My Jewish friend of Morrocan extraction has a tradition of doing henna'ed designs with women friends and relations. It's a Jewish thing as well as an Arab thing. You shouldn't worry.

Wolfen said...

Or you can always play good WASP and wear gloves....

Anonymous said...

Excuse me, girls, stop being so girlie. We need to stay on message here.

So how did the post-and-beam thingy go? When are they gonna raise YOUR house?