all the lonely people

 

 I find it fairly amusing that in the past idle winter hours I have been toggling between Tinder and solitaire. Tinder, as you may know, is a hookup site that is meant to get people together, while solitaire is a game played alone. Actually, for me Tinder is a game played alone as well, since I have no intention of interacting with any of these people. But as I have said before, I find it fascinating. 

   What I have learned.

 

There are a lot of lonely people out there. There are some kinksters looking for threesomes or dominance and some just looking for Ms. Right Now, and some married folk looking for same and no LTR. But most seem to be lovelorn and hopeful and looking for their "last true love." 

There are a lot of scammers out there. This is something I have gathered from profiles in which men say they are looking for real people, and they will not send gift cards. So people must engage in chats and then start asking for money. It seems that a red flag is wanting to switch to Snapchat or instant messaging right away. 

There are a lot of fishermen out there. One would think that Rhode Island would contain more fishermen than New York City (or, indeed, Missouri), but this does not appear to be the case. And even the guys have realized that fishing has become a cliche. Witness one with a sense of humor (above). And OMG do not forgo reading this hilarious piece in The New Yorker. Although it may only be hilarious if you are female and have looked at Tinder.

There are a lot of women who care about height. At least, so the men complain. And they seem to feel that women also like gym rats and bodybuilders. Whereas I look at these buff guys and figure they've done time.  

There are a lot of people watching Netflix. And liking outdoor sports and fine dining and no drama and road trips and travel and pets and their children and their political preference and music. Oh, and everyone's a photographer or writer—in which case why are their profiles so shitty?

There are a lot of "gentlemen." Not really understanding why people find it necessary to apply this label to themselves. Seems fishy!

Anyway, I'm over it, and I'm mad at the solitaire programmers as well, since I've tried several games and they all seem to be identical. It can't be chance. But fortunately, spring is in the air, and I can itch my travel bug soon.  Plus, there's always Wordle and the crossword and Words With Friends. And the damn news. 

  But I think I'll stick with Tinder through Valentines Day, when all the Lonelyhearts and Hornytoads should be in action.