the rolex saga, part five

Barrett created this beautiful gravestone.

Yes, brothers and sisters, the "rich people's problems" saga continues.
   I am sitting calmly at my kitchen table when the phone rings.
  "Hi, this is Ariana from Rolex. May I speak with Claudia Dowling?"
   Ariana (not her real name—I've forgotten it) tells me that a service estimate will be emailed to me very shortly, and that I need to respond quickly about whether and how I want to proceed.
  My email produces the following.

I look at nothing but the totals. I am in shock.
    I forward the email to Douglas and Barrett, the two people on my watch list who seem most engaged with my problem. Then I immediately attempt to respond to the email to say "no way."
    I have not mentioned that I have elided the time considerably. The whole issue started in October 2019, when my watch stopped. For the third time. Also I have not mentioned that it always ran slow, even though the Rolex people kept telling me over the years that it kept perfect time. It lost about five minutes a week, but I was used to that.
   By now, it is almost Thanksgiving. It's Mickey Mouse time indefinitely for me.