new year's eve, y2k

Some 23 years ago, I was interviewing a conspiracy theorist in the Ozarks who was firmly convinced that Y2K would be used as an excuse by the UN to take over the country.

   “Not gonna happen” I told him.

    “The power grid will go down, all the computers will fail, and they’ll close the roads, and the codes on phone poles will direct the UN forces to take over,” he said.

    “It won’t happen,” I said. “I’m going to come out here and spend New Year’s Eve with you, and you’ll see.”

    He talked his mom and dad into moving from Ohio to the Ozark wilderness, where it was safer, and his brother and sister-in-law arrived in advance of Y2K. I did too.

   I had a chateaubriand dinner prepared by a judge friend, and then headed out into the woods to join the family. They were snacking on a cheese ball. I can give you a recipe if you’re too young to remember Velveeta.

     My subject sat on the sofa, his automatic rifle propped next to his leg, as his parents watched TV. As the night wore on, he kept running to the land line or his ham radio to call his contacts.

   “Has the power gone off yet?” he asked. “Highways closed?”

   Nope, nope, nope.

   I had a mobile phone. As the ball dropped in Times Square, it was still 11 o’clock in Missouri. My friends Ed Barnes and Chien-Chi Chang were covering the event for Time magazine. Just after midnight they rang.

   “Anything going on there?” I asked them. Just the usual: crowds, tourists, drunks. They didn’t know why they were even in Times Square, waiting for action.

    When midnight came and went in the Ozarks, it was time to pack it in.

    To the guy’s credit, he claimed to be happy nothing disastrous had gone down.

    To my credit, I didn’t say I told you so. 

 

 

Great American Eating Ceremony 2023

Roll call: fifteen of the regulars. A lot of entertainments have been going on, and the blog couldn't keep up. Will try to do better. But so many pix and so hard to edit! Communications have suffered. Donna took so many good pictures, but which to choose? Will try. . .

 
 

not asking for it

Donna Ferrato took this photograph. When she and a friend, Charlie Shockey, came over yesterday, he opened his shirt, to reveal. . .

So I then encouraged photographer Chien-Chi Chang to open his shirt, to reveal his scars from a recent surgery.

Also in attendance were Donna's daughter Fanny and grandson Ryan. So it was quite the gala!

astral journeys

It only happens once in a blue moon. Sometimes the stars line up, and sometimes they don't. I will be leaving the Ozarks in a week, and the question is, do I come back in April for the twice-in-a-lifetime solar eclipse, which will hover over Thomasville about midday. The pagan in me wants to be here. But it's a long drive here and back to Block Island if the weather is cloudy!

 

 
 

this old house

So it looks like Douglas has sold the tiny, asbestos-shingled shack we bought with his brother in 1980 for, ahem, $45,000, has sold. Not closed yet but soon. That's the shack top left, and it was bought by his neighbor top right, who bought the house from my brother-in-law. So the compound continues to shrink. The two houses I built are at the bottom of the picture, and my brother-in-law built the two in the middle.

  HERE is a link to Douglas's, making it look much bigger than it really is. And beautifully styled out, not to mention renovated, by Douglas's former partner.

   All of his children got to enjoy a last summer at the place, including Simon, a college sophomore.

Adam, a 53-year-old lawyer.

And Hannah and her family, who were staying across the compound at my place.

In other Block Island news, a 200-year-old hotel in the middle of town burned down this week. Fortunately no one was hurt. But town will never be the same. Needless to say, I did not not take any of these pictures, since I have been in the Ozarks.

 

 

siblings

 

Camilla used a picture I took of her and her sibling Isaac way back when at the Goose to do this work.

The siblings spent the summer on Block Island, and while they were there, Hannah visited with her two siblings, Adam (11 years older) and Simon (22 years younger).

 

The three sibling share a father, Douglas, here with his brother, Johnny, at the farewell dinner in Johnny's back yard last night. The family that ate the world.

 

 

wowie maui

I heard about the wildfires in Maui yesterday evening and reached out to my friend John Cassel yesterday evening —his morning—to see if he was alive. He was, but, as you can see, it was a close one. 

    Are you okay?  I texted.

   "Our house is in the middle of the frame with the flames in the neighborhood behind us. Other than that, things are just peachy," he said. 

   "Holy fuck," I said.

   "I believe that is the technical term," he said.

   "We are doing well. Lots of devastation all around us. All day yesterday and through the night until 4 am this morning, our neighborhood was surrounded by fires. "

     Most of John's neighbors, as well as his son, evacuated.  John and his cat stayed.

     "I had my car ready to go with my bug-out bag and sleeping gear loaded as well as a couple chainsaws, in case I had to cut my way out of the neighborhood. I kept walking around the neighborhood to check on the fire line and see if anybody needed any help. Many of my neighbors have lost everything, which is very sad. Fortunately we have a photovoltaic system with batteries so we have had electricity all the way through. Many neighborhoods are without.

    "The firefighters couldn’t fight the fire and 50 mile an hour winds. I think once the winds died down, the firefighters were able to put out the fires. In the moment, the hurricane is moving away from the islands.

    "Finally, at 4 am, I couldn’t see flames in any direction around the house. It was a huge relief, and I finally went to sleep for an hour or so. I’ve been helping out around the neighborhood, cutting down fallen trees and branches to clear the roads and my neighbors' driveways. Fortunately, we have a photovoltaic system with batteries so we have had electricity all the way through. Many neighborhoods are without electricity.
     "My cat kept crying, so I put it in my son‘s room and closed the windows and the blinds.
That helped it calm down. He has been relentless in wanting to cuddle with me. When I went back to work, he followed me into my office and sat on my feet under my desk. If I got up, even for a moment, he would follow me like a dog. I like having a cat that acts like a dog.

    "I’ve loaded up the car with some bedding to take to the donation center. Right now, I’m lying in bed with my cat snuggled up next to me purring like a freight train while I play chess online.
Those are my escapes."

 

   The foregoing has been lightly edited for clarity. Following is a link to the video John shot. https://youtu.be/je8nOyh9ZBQ

 

 

 

 

we all scream for

 

She was behind me in the checkout line at the grocery store. 

   "Love your T-shirt," I said. "Can I take your picture?"

   "You know she has an ice cream shop," the checkout person said.

   "No, where?"

   "Right across from the Ozarks Cafe," said the woman in the T-shirt. "It's a pink building. You can't miss it!"

    "I think you got yourself a new customer," sad the checkout person.

    Right. On both counts.

It was a hot day. Aren't they all nowadays? I had been unable to eat much due to the spider meds, but ice cream seemed like the right idea. It was.

 

rites of passage

There's somebody dying across the way

It happens to be a beautiful day

I don't think she wants to stay

Thre's somebody dying across the way

 

Somebody's getting married across the way

They're lucky it's a beautiful day

Hoping their love is here to stay

But there always comes a parting of ways 

Every beginning contains an ending

And every ending, its beginning.

watching paint dry

 

The fumes are so strong that the bugs are passing out. But somehow I've convinced myself that it's easier than mopping.

And let me point out that I can't do it all at once. I have to leave paths to doors, kitchen, bathroom and stairs. It takes days to dry.

bringing it

 

I love to see a man in my kitchen. Especially this man. He brings intelligence, skill, food and wine to the table. Yes, we had leftovers, but his were oysters, which he shucked in situ. Here come the judge!

more critters

The itsy bitsy spider crawled up upon my arm

I didn't feel it then but it had done me harm 

Out came a welt that didn't go away

So now I'm taking meds for another seven days

 

It was likely a brown recluse—I've been living with them for almost two decades now, and amazingly have never been bitten before. So after a few days, I was urged to go to urgent care. They gave me a very powerful broad spectrum antibiotic, and here we are.

  Meanwhile the hummingbirds are swarming. The armadillo shells are gone, but I found some new broken shells in the grass. Judging by the size, these are likely from a hummingbird's nest that got blown out of a tree in one of the violent thunderstorms we've been having.

 

.

 

armadillo story

 

It started like this. An armadillo, one of four identical quadruplets, jumped up as the headlights hit it. Apparently this is how the nocturnal animal responds—certainly judging by the Sunday morning roadkill here in the Ozarks. They have been here for decades, after migrating into Texas in the 1880s and heading north. Here is an INTERESTING ARTICLE about the effects of climate change on animal populations. Apparently the armadillo has appeared as far north as Chicago. 

     People here pretty much hate them for the wreckage their burrows create in gardens and yards.  Anyway, this one appeared in my yard, started to bloat and reek. I guess the buzzards finally did the cleanup, and now I am left with just the empty shell and the smell.

made it!

I could wax poetic about the towns I passed (Brilliant), the signs I saw (Custom Bait, Trump), and the rivers I crossed (Tallahatchee, Mississippi, Eleven Point), but that seems like a long time ago. Not quite a week. I made it in time for the Fourth of July, which was celebrated on the first. Virginia and one of her grandkids came over, and I grilled, as is appropriate here in the middle of America. 

 

We had rain, and a rainbow, and a rodeo and fireworks. 

On the real fourth of July, yesterday, I went up to Mary's farm to pick up produce from her. 

 

This guy by my doorstep, however, did NOT have a happy Fourth.

 

camilla invades block island

 

For a while, Camilla has been contemplating island life. She has seen a number of issues she would like addressed, and decided to write to the mayor, who on Block Island is called the First Warden. By the time she got on the boat (arriving, above), she had it pretty much written.

 

Upon arrival, Hannah  helped Camilla execute another plan: cutting a foot or so of her hair off to donate to Locks of Love. 

Then she cut my hair, though I didn't have more than a couple inches to spare.

Who knows what scheme she will come up with next.

knapp attack

 

I have had more visitors than usual in the past two weeks. One of the best was Kate Knapp, who visits only to paint when the weather is inclement. We have great vists when her hands and eyes are busy. I just watch and listen. 

This is my window on a grey, pastel day. I have often taken pictures as well. Below is one of mine.

Then there was this one. On one of our beautiful days before the advent of the smoke.

 

 

potato report

 

Word on the scabrous potato (or as Dugan calls it, the syphilitic potato, and he should know being a former medic during the Vietnam war): I do not know whether the President of the Garden Club has planted it. I doubt it, since she has hardly worked in her own garden at all. However, she did come to my house and plant my herb garden. Lest you think I'm a lazy bum (she also painted the front railings at Hannah's), let me point out that I pitchforked and edged and weeded until I hated dirt. Yes, I know it's supposed to be good for you. Why would you think that weighed with me?

wtf is in the truck this time

     It started with the potato. I was clearing out of NYC, and I could not bring myself to throw away this potato. It can't be eaten, but I thought my sister might like to plant it in her garden. I texted her and she said sure. Whether she will or not who knows, but whatever. Hard for me to throw away. And then there was the trampoline and the giant table and the rest of it. I went to see Ed and told him I had lost my mind. 

     He said just put the potato on the trampoline.

Me and the potato and the trampoline made it to Providence, where my grand helped me unload in front of Hannah's house. The potato appeared to have survived the trip. Also the trampoline.

And me. And the coffee and the applesauce. Why do I travel like this? 

So we got on the ferry.

And we made it home. Potato and trampoline intact. Will my sister plant it? I've done my part to keep the world from wasting a potato.