I received these texts the other night. Then a bunch of phone calls from the same number. I thought it was a prank text and blocked the caller.
Then I felt kind of bad. What if there really was a Vanessa? But he didn't have the right number for her? Should I tell him?
Nah. Dude's an asshole ("I apologized, didn't I?") who wants to talk to love bug about getting his commercial driver's license. Let him twist in the wind.
5 comments:
Dear Ms. Dowling: I know what you must be thinking, and I want to re-assure you that is is not my honorable Uncle Li-san who writes these loving e-pistles to you.
While there is little doubt that Uncle Li loves you still, he is studying mating rituals of the Galapagos tortoise on Isabela Island, which is largest of the islands in the Galapagos archipelago.
Uncle writes that it is his hope that giant and patient tortoise will reveal "True Love Ways" to him, and then and only then will he return to civilization and continue his pursuit.
I regret to report that there have been numerous complaints from visitors to Isabella who are not great fans of rock god Buddy Holly-san. Uncle spends many hours serenading females of tortoise species with Greatest Hits. Very loudly, so it is told to me.
Very kind thoughts to you, Lady. Courtni Li
And I thought I was forgotten!
What is the song Mr. Li sings to the tortoises?
Well, of course there is "True Love Ways" only Li thinks it means True Love Weighs. He thinks the larger the tortoise, the greater the wisdom.
He has also been singing, "That'll be the Weigh" , "Brown Shelled Handsome Man" , "Tortue Sue"., and his favorite "Not Crawl Away."
The Author was just trying to say that "That'll be the Day" would be the more appropriate response to Mr. Li's romantic aspirations.
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