the rolex saga, part four

Barrett models real Rolexes plus the Walmart possibilities

 When I last posted, I was rendering unto Rolex that thing which was Rolex's for an estimate of the cost of repairs and contemplating life ahead without my watch. Barrett was contemplating it too, and so she wrote the following, titled It's About Time. . .My Life With (and without ) My Luxury Watch

You should take that $800 right to Walmart (or maybe it was Lowes ) and buy 40 more Disney-themed watches.  Then you could put on a new one each time the battery on the one you’re wearing gives out— for, say, the rest of your life! And just think of the money you will save by not having to spring for another 40 + years of repair work on your real Rolex!  

OMG!  Or: We can use the money you’ll save to fund one of those “true life”  docudramas that covers your life from when you got your first Rolex ‘til some future date, when you’ll be wearing one of the 40 Disneys on your wrist next to your Rolex , which has finally given up the ghost.

In the last, fade-to-black scene as your life story is obviously coming to an end, you and the Rolex representative who took us to lunch in Manhattan are sitting side by side in your respective wheelchairs in the nursing home, and the Rolex rep is now part of the family. He’s  spent so much time with you over the years trying to get your Rolex working that you and he have become husband and wife…( I do hope you saved the man’s card so we can find him and cast him.)

 With your great and great grandchildren at your knees, surrounding you and pretending to listen to your “glory days” stories which they've heard a hundred times, you hold your watch hand aloft and assume that  “crooked little finger “ pose you used to strike when looking proudly at your expensive timepiece. (I’m not sure you still do it now. I loved that pose—you tell me!) You and husband snort and chuckle while you try to remember your days on Everest, exploring Russia with Al and Tipper, in the water wearing your Rolex while Chuck makes his moves on you, on the road with Travis, interviewing Clint and Meryl. . .( FYI: Who says your autobiography won’t sell? Only you!!)  

Sound Great?  Our award winning documentary will sell in concert with your book, of course. Rolex will love the concept. The film will premiere at Cannes.  Got that? Why not? You’ve got the chops, and we got the time—all that Heaven will allow. 

Timepiece choice for the present: Saddam or Mickey. Barrett says my arm looks like a corpse.

the rolex saga, part three

I mean, orchids of course!

The watch stopped again at least once and had to go back to Switzerland again, but then it worked for years. It swam in many oceans and took thousands of showers and had many adventures in many time zones and never skipped a beat. Until last month. Some hesitation and then—nothing.
   I took it off. Even though I don't consciously recall the time and date, I certainly registered when it was unavailable on my wrist. Yes, I know I have it on my phone, but its not the same. Like I need to look at my phone more often?
   I called Rolex. They said they no longer send watches back to Switzerland, and that it would likely cost six weeks and $800 to repair in New York.
   Meanwhile, I could not live without a functioning watch on my wrist, so I went to what Barrett calls "the drawer where you put things you don't know what to do with" and explored my options. There was the Mickey Mouse watch from Walmart that Barrett had given me, and the Saddam Hussein watch Ed had bought for me at a market in Iraq. The Mickey Mouse watch had a clasp that was easier to manage, so I had the battery replaced by a shoemaker on Broadway (go figure!).
   I wore both to the Fifth Avenue Rolex building for an estimate. You sit in a fancy waiting room, and they give you fancy water to drink while you wait to hand your fancy timepiece over to a fancy young woman.

In the Rolex waiting room