the christmas letter

Don't the tootsies get cold? And the tushie? 79th and Broadway

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I love getting Christmas letters. Lately, however, they have been getting increasingly odd—kind of the opposite of Facebook. I have therefore made a template for those of you who wish to send one out. It’s not too late!

   In a coming post I will present my own, which would be a doozie this year! Let me just say that I was NOT blown up by a suicide bomber today! Good news for the holidays!

Dear Friends and Family,

    (SEASON’S GREETINGS/MERRY CHRISTMAS)! It has been quite a year! We took some great trips to (PLACE) and (PLACE) back in (MONTH) before (NAME) was diagnosed with (DISEASE). Ever since it has been doctors and tests and (TYPE SURGERY). I have had my problems as well with my (KNEE/BACK/OTHER BODY PART). The (TYPE THERAPY) seems to be working, when I have time to do it what with driving (NAME) to (HIS/HER) appointments every week.

    The kids are good. (SON/DAUGHTER) had their (FIRST/SECOND/OTHER NUMBER) child. (HE/SHE) weighed (POUNDS/OUNCES) and is called (NAME), after (WHAT RELATION). (SON/DAUGHTER) and (HIS/HER/THEIR) (SPOUSE/PARTNER) have (SEPARATED/DIVORCED). Of course we are sad, but it will all work out (FOR THE BEST/OK).

   Our (DOG/CAT) is doing great!

   We are thinking of you, and hope to see you in the New Year. Have a great (HOLIDAY) and love to you and yours!

                                                   THE (SURNAME)S