So yesterday I received the following from that perennial thorn in my side, Nose Bite Kitty, Esq.—or as I prefer to think of him: Many Spurious Suits Pain-in-the-ass Esquire. The message was in French, of course, and I have translated it for you. What I really take it to mean is that I can whack carpenter bees with a badminton racket, pour hot water into anthills, pay a dime to young children to swat flies, kick dogs, chase cats and do whatever I want to members of the animal kingdom—with impunity—for the next four months. I'm goin' in. . .
Dear Madame Dowling: Thank you for your kind testimonial about my human benefactor, Ms. Andrews. She indeed has many fine qualities, and I am glad you appreciate her as I do.
Since you have been so thoughful and expressed your sentiments so publicly, I and my firm, Les Felins por la Justice, grant you immunity from proscution for the period of four months. Sincerely yours, Nose Bite Kitty, Esquire
Watch it, Claude. You may not be dragged into court, but with threats like these certain people have connections, if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteI overheard Nose Bite making a call to Fluffy The Fixer and Fang Sponducci, among others.