4.29.2014

ugliest house on block Island

The Ugliest House on Block Island
Location, location, location. This spread might be ok in certain subdivisions in Colt's Neck, N.J., but on this eyelant it's an eyesore. A pavillion? They obviously haven't got a whiff of the dump down the road midsummer. Or the howling winds at other times of year. The trucks going to and from the dump (transfer station) clank from 7:30 am on as they bump along the road. The 12-foot cypress insta-hedge ain't gonna cut it.
   Yes, there are other ugly houses on the island—the flying saucer comes to mind—but over time we've grown accustomed to their place. We may grow accustomed to this one as well.
   But not the driveway. If you want a driveway like this, don't build on an island of dirt roads.
    The owner is said to be the owner of a limousine company (!) with houses all over the world. He  makes my industrialist neighbor—who used a local architect, local construction company and local vernacular (and who so far has a dirt driveway)—seem the prince of taste.
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5 comments:

  1. Nose Bite K. Esq.April 29, 2014 6:24 PM

    Mme Dowling: Notre enquêteur, Purry Mason, a effacé votre nom de toutes les accusations criminelles entourant la disparition tragique du cerf de mère.
    Et donc, je tiens à vous offrir mes services. Votre poste le plus récent sur ​​votre blog, Surf City de Claudia, pourrait bien conduire à un procès, et vous devrez défendre. Vous pouvez faire face à reprocussions du propriétaire de la compagnie de limousine italienne. À tout le moins, pour diffamation. Au pire, vous pouvez être équipé de chaussons de ciment. À un moment comme celui-ci, le meilleur de vous demander .. "Qu'est-ce que Jimmy Hoffa ont fait?".
    Nous enverrons certains, comme vous, les Américains dites, "muscle" sur l'île.
    Frank Kitti exigera sa propre chambre et pension. Notre cabinet vous facturer en conséquence.
    Respectueusement, Nez Bite Kitty, Esq.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nose Bite K. Esq.April 29, 2014 6:27 PM

    Et la translation:

    Ms. Dowling: Our investigator, Purry Mason, has cleared your name of all criminal charges surrounding the tragic demise of the mother deer.
    And so, I would like to offer you my services. Your most recent post on your blog, Claudia's Surf City, may well result in a lawsuit, and you will need defending. You may face reprocussions from the Italian limousine company owner. At the very least, charges of libel. At the worst, you may be fitted for cement booties. At a time like this, best to ask yourself.. "What would Jimmy Hoffa have done?".
    We will be sending some, as you Americans say, "muscle" out to the island.
    Frank Kitti will require his own room and board. Our firm will bill you accordingly.
    Respectfully, Nose Bite Kitty, Esq.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ClaudiaApril 30, 2014 10:12 AM

    Ciao?
    or miaou?

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJune 10, 2014 4:30 PM

    Its only the beginning. Just wait. Soon that place will be like Michael Jacksons Neverland Ranch, complete with a working Ferris Wheel.
    Its So Over.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJune 10, 2014 4:30 PM

    Its only the beginning. Just wait. Soon that place will be like Michael Jacksons Neverland Ranch, complete with a working Ferris Wheel.
    Its So Over.

    ReplyDelete