Lately I have been getting inquiries through VRBO similar to those one can get through Craig's List: ie poor command of English and an undue interest in method of payment and my bank account number. However the following letter really captured my attention:
Dear Ms. Dowling: I have found your houses on VBO, and they have take my
breath away. I ask for your help in securing my dreams can come true. I
am a widow with five lovely children, ages 2- 10. My husband, Colonel
Langouste Brown , was killed defending our country while stationed in
Ethiopia. It was always his wish for me that I spend every summer at
the beach, and he has made sure in spite of his tragic demise, that I
and our beautiful children can do this. He has left me sufficient funds
to secure your lovely homes for 25 years to come.
I will send funds
to you as soon as you let me know the cost of this agreement. We would
like both houses the months of August. I am needing also maid service
for this time. Please email me your sonsent, and the following
information, and I will have my attorney, Nose Bite Kitty, mail you
enough funds to secure your trust.
Thank you in advance for helping our family. Sincerely, Antoinette Brown
1) your full names
2) your mailing address
3) your bank account number at which to receive your funds
And then this.
Dear Ms. Dowling: Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Nose Bite Kitty, acting attorney at law for Mrs. Langouste Brown, a widow currently residing in Monaco, France. It is my clients wish to rent your properties on Block Island, Rhode Isalnd for the months of August, from this year 2013 until the year 2038.
On behalf of Ms. Brown I will be issuing you a check to cover the costs of these rentals, plus maid service for 31 days per month. I will send you more than is asked, so there will be a reserve should any unforeseen mishaps, such as shortage of mice, occur.
Thank you in advance for your co operation. Sincerely, Nose Bite Kitty
I don't see how I can possibly pass up this opportunity. The only thing thing that worries me is kicking out my long time tenants. And the mice, of course.
Mrrroww! And so, Madame, we have a deal?
ReplyDeleteBut did Nose Bite Kitty eat Colonel Langouste? Was that the cause of his demise? Hmm.
ReplyDeleteTell them the only access to the island is by boat, and quote a price of $15,000,000 for cruise liner rental so they can get there...
ReplyDeleteI say scat!
ReplyDeletethere is definitely some creative genius among us...
ReplyDelete