3.02.2010
reinvention
People in my age group are hitting the wall in their professions, finances, health, residences and relationships. Changes in your 20s are typically ascending towards some ideal—love, marriage, children, success, but in your 40s you give up a dream or two. By their 50s and 60s, most people are forced, kicking and screaming, to change their lives entirely.
The amazing thing is that, very often, they like the new ones better. It's scary, though.
Which brings me to my friend Nape (nah-pay), the Queen of Risktaking Reinvention. Or, formerly, the King. "I spent my first 40 years as a man. I decided I wanted to spend the next 40 as a woman," she told me once.
But talk about transitions. . . She also went from being a nice Jewish boy in Westchester to embracing her grandmother's Native American identity, learning to speak Lakota and changing her name. She (mostly) overcame PTSD as a traumatized Navy medic after getting a Purple Heart in Vietnam. She became the father of a boy and girl. She divorced and built a sailing ship in Denmark and fell in love with a Danish girl. She became a woman in Amsterdam and lost her job in Denmark and sued for discrimination. She became a psychologist. She dressed in feathers and skins and toured as a Wild Indian/transsexual in Europe. She sold the boat. Her lover, who did not want a romance with a female, became a friend. Their farm burned down in Montana, and the Danish girl left. Towing her beloved horses in a trailer, Nape went to work in Hollywood, then to rescue carriage horses in the wake of a hurricane in Louisiana. She lived in her horse trailer. She became a farrier. She fell in love again.
And then, a month ago, she almost died in the OR with a ruptured colon. She had no money to pay the hospital. She has never had any money. She can't work. She can't live in her trailer.
Nape just called. She has gotten disability and Social Security. Medicaid is paying the hospital bill. Her lawyer son gave her some money. Her farrier clients say their horses' hoofs can wait. Her sweetheart is taking care of her horses—and her. Nape still has dreams. She is happy to be alive.
Wow. What a story. What a life. What a brave brave person. Thanks for the story, Claudie. I can afford to send a small check to help her. Would that be OK? Or would it be not a good idea?
ReplyDeleteWow, that is all I can say about how resilient some people are...amazing
ReplyDeletehttp://www.truediscipleship.com/poems/poems33.htm
ReplyDeleteYou have to read to the end to see how it applies...