1.10.2007

save me



Did you know that self storage facilities, unheard of before 1970 or so, now rent out 2 billion square feet of space in this great land of ours? Also in that time our houses have gotten about 1,000 square feet bigger, to an average 2,400 square feet of living space today. (Don't tell this to New Yorkers). (Also let me point out that my houses are about 1,600.) Why do we need so much stuff?
I say, let's stake out one of the 45,000 storage facilities for a month and see. My guess is that every one of those units has a story, sometimes a sad one—death or divorce—but sometimes not. "We moved in together." "I bought a new house but I can't get into it yet." "The kid came home from college with all these boxes of books."
Wouldn't it be cool to photograph the people and their stuff and find out why it was there?
No Angelina, and no J, I'm not suggesting your storage facilities. But I can't deny that they, along with Ruby Zee Montana's (above), piqued my interest.

7 comments:

  1. I thought I recognized that damned Taurus wagon!

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  2. Your friend Alastair's
    http://www.space-station.co.uk/About%20Us/About_Us.php

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  3. I am the Queen of storage lockers. I currently have 10. That's four in Georgia (not counting the bay I rent for my Rover), and six in, of course, Fairfield county.

    U.G.A. has approached me about teaching a course.

    The classes I'm offering are:

    1) Storage Locker Theory: 101, 102

    2) Storage Made Easy: The Basic Mechanisms

    3) Advanced Storage for Serious Human Hamsters

    Plus, Justin Timberlake is cutting a new record even as I write. Something about " putting your stuff in a box." He's paying me royalties.

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  4. You and Ruby should both just buy or build your own storage locker facilities so you'll have some income while cramming for
    Seminar 401: Divestiture. This class is limited to six hamsters. Requires two-month hands-on internship.

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  5. Not a problem. In fact, I have a great location in mind. Main Street, Madison, Georgia.

    The Usher-Thomason-Miller house. Once considered to be the finest example of the Aesthetic movement in America. Site of several films, including "Oldest Living Confederate Widow." Or something like that. With what's-his-name. Oh, yeah. Donald Sutherland.

    My friend Marcy Miller agreed we could use the 10 acre pecan orchard in back of the house to build the facility. I'd call it "Historage." Good, no?

    It will only take three or four years to get it past the Historic Preservation Committee.

    Too bad I resigned from the HPC. I was too busy moving my stuff from point A to point B to serve.

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  6. I could go on and on and on about storage (I've been renting a space for 13 years), but I'll limit my comment to a link to my all-time favorite Onion story:

    Local Self-Storage Facility A Museum Of Personal Failure
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39484

    CBA, Ruby, let's start Store-a-non Anonymous.

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  7. Love it! And, as a sort of ritual or semi- annual event, we could lock ourselves out of them, get naked and wear rugs.

    Why do that?

    It's the Don't Ask department. But if you must, ask Dolores.

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