I hope that Kevin will be my new lumber company rep, but it remains to be seen if the company approves my application for a $30,000 line of credit, given that I don't have a job or an income. Following is my hopeful note.
Dear Kevin,
Attached is the window schedule for the house I'm building.
I basically need a quote. These are two-over-two double hung windows for the most part. Also four sets of French doors—fuck me! I think I am required to have factory installed mullions and a windload upgrade to DP 50. You would know that better than I. I think Andersen, the company you usually use, calls these windows Woodwright, but I'm not sure.
I may look into some other manufacturers as well. The quote I have so far is from Loewen, which I think doesn't meet the windload requirements and comes to something over $20,000. I am assuming Andersen will be double that.
Look at the lingo in that letter. Tip of the iceburg. I also read an interesting thing that said when French doors are installed in a high wind area you want them to open out rather than into the house so that they are forced shut by the wind rather than open. Makes sense to me. When you are about to spend $40,000 on windows it pays to improve your vocabulary.
fair warning: on block island or manhattan or in missouri, we can be a little salty
If I'm reading this as it stands, you are asking Kevin to "see you." I assume you are doing this in the hope you will get either a big line of credit, or a big discount. Maybe both, if he's happy with you. Ahem.
ReplyDeleteMr. Li is going to go ape-shit, babe.
Li will not shit like ape.
ReplyDeleteLi will kill this Kevin-man, too.
Li is ask American peoples:
What is wrong with Goddess, that must be sleeping with so many mens.
Perhaps is American way. Other goddesses are doing this. Marilyn with President, big baseball DiMaggio-san, famous writing man, etc. And for example, Angelina, who has the Brad Beast, is even willing to sleep with Li.
Sigh. Is American way, this proscuitto. Not Chinese way.
Poor Uncle mean say "promiscuous", not proscuitto.
ReplyDeleteIs questioning habit of bedroom, not beline.
Actually this entire tempest in a Li-pot is the result of a misunderstanding. i did not, in fact, write "fuck me" in the letter to Kevin. That was editorializing for the purpose of drama in the bolg.
ReplyDeleteYes, like we believe that.
ReplyDeleteBride is always loving tea-ceremony. Is one more reason Li love Bride so.
ReplyDeleteThis is big tempest, with many men dead.
Buddha say "Do not believe what others say, even the Buddha. See for yourself what bring contentment, clarity, and peace. That is the path you follow."
So, Li is to become Beast, and kill all rivals for bed of Goddess.
Path is clear. Li is at one with Buddha.
Good one, Phil. My favourite comment in a fortnight.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, that's come and gone, I believe. Dangerman was no-show.
Li 1, Danger-Fleece 0.