"Do you have a plane?" I don't know where I'd be without BI Bro's tool collection, which ranges from antique- decorative to the all- power- all-the-time type. The only thing is, he needs a whole separate house to keep it in. And so do I. And we're not allowed to build so much as a tool shed on the property without getting a permit defining how many times a day we plan to TAKE A PISS during the building process.
I am finding this particularly egregious, since I have to present complete plans—including floorplans—that cannot be changed once approved by the zoning board. Since I don't think that well in three dimensions, I am eliminating all closets from my floorplan. I will buy wardrobes or build in later, but I cannot be held to the placement of closets before even seeing the space.
Besides, Town now has another set of restrictions for what can be IN your closets:
Khaki and navy blue allowed.
No fuschia, spike heels, black leather. . .
Bonus points for other Historic District restrictions
Like, what kind of cars are you allowed in the driveway? BMW SUVs OK? Pickups NOT? Or are these Edies's rules?
ReplyDeleteLike, NO MORE GASNERS!
ReplyDeleteThis is getting boring. I thought you were going to have sex. If all this veiled tool talk is actually about the savage sex you are supposed to be having, you've lost me. Are those odd eel-spears actually sex-toys?
ReplyDeleteI don't know how anyone can live on an island that tells you when and where you can have sex.
I mean, you are supposed to be A Sex Magnet. What ever happenned to the Claudia behind "Sex Lives on Videotape"? If falling in love at the dump with some guy who's never there is the best you can do, I think you'd better build the next house somewhere else. Like in Miami. You and me and Brad can hang. Where's Donna? You need Donna.