7.31.2005

landlady blues


If possible, one should never meet the people who are renting your house—or vice versa. This weekend, though, it was unavoidable. The previous renters, who left the place spotless, had told me that the French door handle needed replacing. Jose and I did that, then I made beds and he cleaned the grill and we finished up other little chores, and then the septic system alarm started going off. Siren, flashing light. Over and over. I called Septic Maestro.
When he called me back, the new renters were already installed—the teenaged girls in the shower, the little boys playing video games, the father pacing the deck with his cellphone.
"Excuse me. Hi, I'm Claudia, I have to get into the house to fix the septic system."
Right. Like turn the circuit breakers on and off. Once I figured out how to open the box, which was stuck, with the renter watching me. In the process, he discovered the mint bed. I only hope I left the circuit breakers properly on, or we'll really have a septic problem by the time I go back in a month.

19 comments:

  1. I'm like, so worried that his dogs may discover the broken glass under that 'ole barn first!!! This gentleman needs Brad, who will make like Achilles, to help him with a little attitude adjustment. I mean, it could be so much worse. There could be some rotten potatoes around. Or mice. Or a dead body in the walls. Ask Jerry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Also remember, as Emmet says: What you believe, you bring into being. They're gonna love it. You're gonna love them. They'll come back next year. CSI will run forever. Love, Angelina

    ReplyDelete
  3. i adjusted my ending and posted back on my site. thanks for seeing what i was trying to touch upon. i realize i wasn't altogether subtle, but not many pick up on it. or maybe they're not bold enough to point it out. either way- thanks for being different.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dan: For future reference, the mint grows lushly below the outdoor shower (for obvious reasons). I gave the beer and the fudge to my brother and sister in law--who knew if the next tenants were worthy? I ate some of the fudge. It was good. I did not try the beer because I was being good (see other blog).
    As for the screens, well, have you noticed that the windows would fall down without those sliding screens?. Each window would have to be rebuilt with the chain or cord and pulley system that would enable it to stay raised by itself. I don't think I'm capable of it, and there are 27 windows.
    However, now is the time to have some input into the window systems in the next house. I wasn't planning to put screens in them either--they ruin the view. But perhaps I should reconsider?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Claudia: I was so there, and would have liked that fudge. Some friend you are!!! Also, to Dan...as someone who was on the scene with Claudia just after you left, I just want to testify that she loved the way you left the house. And so did I. Maybe you and your wife and dog would like to rent my house next year! I have lots of blackberries,if you come in August when they are ripe.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Dan: I also provide free dog biscuits. I hear Rex is a fine dog. My phone number is available through Offshore Properties.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Angelina: Please stop trying to steal my model tenants.
    Dan: Note that Angelina does not have screens EITHER. Also she does NOT like dogs and is just leading you down the garden path. And speaking of gardens, did you find the oregano?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I do so like dogs. We used to breed collies. So there! Brad is going to be very angry. He's really buff these days, so watch out.

    ReplyDelete
  9. There better not be marijuana near the pond! Is it on my property? Where?
    No, the oregano is in that minimal flower bed near the REALLY CLEAN grill.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shit. My seeds. That worked? I haven't even been there in two summers...does that make it an annual or a perennial? Was it any good? Or should I say is...? Is there any left? Oh gosh, I think I need a vacation. What day is change over??

    ReplyDelete
  11. Citichild...I was thinking the same thing you wrote.
    Wow...amazing that it grew
    think it is like maui stuff?
    Wish I still liked to partake.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Claudia,
    I have to say that your blog hits the spot!
    I was out looking for information on surf rashguards but found your post: this post to be far more interesting than what I was looking for. Quite a good job you're doing on your site here... I'm thinking about making a blog about surf rashguards I want to make it look like yours here. If you have any tips or secrets maybe you could share :)

    It was great to visit your blog, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aloha Claudia,
    I'm a visitor from Hawaii and just found your post this post. I like it... it's interesting so I decided to read and say hi. Although my interests are mostly about surfing rashguards related information right now, your blog got my attention and was a nice change. Thanks for your nice blog Claudia, I think I'll tell my cousin to stop by if that's okay.
    ~ Aloha ~

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Claudia,
    I have to say that your blog hits the spot!
    I was out looking for information on surfing rash guards but found your post: this post to be far more interesting than what I was looking for. Quite a good job you're doing on your site here... I'm thinking about making a blog about surfing rash guards I want to make it look like yours here. If you have any tips or secrets maybe you could share :)

    It was great to visit your blog, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well, is there something a little weird going on here? I don't know about you Claudia, but my blog gets pretty cluttered with spammy comments from people. My advice to you as one blog owner to another, is to be patient and focus on the great things about having a blog, instead of all the junk that goes on. You do have a quality blog and appears that you enjoy it. My favorite web project so far is a used surf boards site, because I have total control and it makes me a couple dollars here and there. It's pretty hard to find new information on used surf boards stuff though. Hey, keep up your excellent job Claudia, and good luck with your projects..

    See ya ~

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hello Claudia I was just browsing the net looking for stuff on wind forecasts and came across your site. Although I enjoyed visiting this post it is not really what I'm looking for, but if ever you are looking for some great windsurfing gear, then please visit our site.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi Claudia, I see you've aquired quite a skill for the web. I was wondering if you'd be willing to stop by my surfing dvd site and give me some tips. Please don't confuse this with another spam comment, I was just out looking for surfing dvd sites and your blog came up. I noticed you've done a great job so I thought I'd compliment... Anyway, feel free to check me out and good luck with your project.

    See ya ~

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well, is there something a little weird going on here? I don't know about you Claudia, but my blog gets pretty cluttered with spammy comments from people. My advice to you as one blog owner to another, is to be patient and focus on the great things about having a blog, instead of all the junk that goes on. You do have a quality blog and appears that you enjoy it. My favorite web project so far is a surf board site, because I have total control and it makes me a couple dollars here and there. It's pretty hard to find new information on surf board stuff though. Hey, keep up your excellent job Claudia, and good luck with your projects..

    See ya ~

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Claudia There I was just cruising the web looking for info on surfing and I happened upon your site. It looks like you have put a lot of work into this post and congratulations, but I'm really looking for info on windsurfing.

    ReplyDelete